


Kaiju

by MQAnon



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Gen, Kaiju, Kaiju!Newt, Other, Second Person, body transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MQAnon/pseuds/MQAnon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kaiju is fully inside your head now, every thought overlaid with sickening wrong-blue and heavy with the taste of oil and blood on your tongue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kaiju

The kaiju is fully inside your head now, every thought overlaid with sickening wrong-blue and heavy with the taste of oil and blood on your tongue. You swallow, an attempt to make your mouth taste of anything else but it just comes back stronger, sliding into corners and seeping down your throat until it feels like your insides and organs are varnished with oil and blood and the smell of snow and salt and steel and wrong-blue. You want to hate it, you want to hate it _so badly_ but the kaiju in your head won’t let you – instead, all you can muster is fear.

It takes days for them to coax you out of your room when you first feel the scales pressing up under your skin, coating your spine in a hideous, unseen layer. They say you look fine, that there’s _nothing there, Newt, it’s just in your head_ but they’re wrong, they’re so wrong it **hurts** because you can _feel_ it, it’s _there_ , it’s going to claim your body now too oh God your mind wasn’t enough, and it’s a hivemind, yeah, it’s calling backup. When they catch you with your own blood on your hands and your shirt ripped up along the back _I had to get it out it’s there I had to get it out!_ they take you to the medbay, tie you down and restrain you and call it _help_. It’s not help, it’s so far from it – with nothing to distract you now all your thoughts turn inwards, spiralling down nerves to gather at the layers of keratin and bone. They’re not just at your spine now – they’re on your hands and your shoulders and your throat, oh God your throat and you can’t _breathe_ with the knowledge that it’s there, lurking and waiting _please you have to get it out!_ The static tin beep of the heart monitor starts going crazy and then the room bursts into noise and you want to sob and scream because it’s _too much can’t hear can’t think!_ But the sounds get caught in your throat, constrained by hidden scales that loop around cartilage rings and pull tighter and tighter until your throat is sealed up, closed.

Relief only comes in the brief seconds after they press a needle to your skin, as darkness spirals in and you hear the _beepbeepbeep_ calming, slowing. Even blackness is better than wrong-blue.

Waking up, if anything, is worse than not being able to breathe, because now, through your eyes, everything is overlaid is gold and a myriad shades of blue but they’re not _your_ blues, not anymore, the kaiju claimed then it stole them from your _mind_. Everything still tastes of oil and blood but now you can actually _feel_ the blood. The doctors inform you that you bit through your tongue in your panic attack, and their voices seem calm but you can feel the fear beneath, you can see how they don’t look at you and dimly you become aware of a dull pain in your skull, like bones pushing up from under your scalp.

But then the first scale breaks through the skin, you **scream** , and in the medical mirror across the room you can see your tongue uncoiling in phosphorescent blue.


End file.
